http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/I am so very sorry If I offend anybody who reads my blog. en-EUMokoFeed10http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/42/63117749af5adb0d3db7cb2a6292e5_160x200.jpghttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2008/04/27/woooooooooo-4101816/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2008-04-27:/2008/04/27/woooooooooo-4101816/Sun, 27 Apr 2008 17:44:03 +0200 <p>I havent written on this blog thing in ages, its crazy! I was going to write a few weeks ago I think, but the computer crashed and I lost like 1000 words. Gutted.</p> <p>Not much has changed, well actually, alot has changed. I am allmost 16, sounds like nothing, but that means im leaving school for good. I can't wait. I don't know how many piercings I had the last time I wrote, but now I have 8. Theyre so so addictive. The last 3 I had within 5 weeks of each other. It sounds stupid but I think theyre pretty. Each to their own.</p> <p>I have now, my ears, (one of which is a 6mm flesh tunnel[only small]), cartillage (top of ear), nose, lip, tongue, belly button and anti-belly. Its the bottom bit of the belly button like an upsidedown version.</p> <p>Gah im bored now. I might write soon, but I probly won't, do I ever? I have missed you guys :] xxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2008/04/27/woooooooooo-4101816/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2008/04/27/woooooooooo-4101816/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/12/12/im_so_f_ked_off~3434227/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-12-12:/2007/12/12/im_so_f_ked_off~3434227/Wed, 12 Dec 2007 20:01:52 +0100 <p>Everthing is anoying. Everything is pissing me off. Im so upset at the moment, it breaks my heart beacause I want to achieve somethings in life, but I really really hate school and its making me depressed again. I feel so sad because I shouldnt be sad, its not right for me and its making me ill. </p> <p>I needed to complete my coursework a few weeks ago, having needed like say 3 more pages to do. My friend had only done about 3. The teacher didnt give a flying fuck about her. NO. Everybody is ganging up on me and my twin sister and its really really unfair. </p> <p>Today I got shouted at by my sisters health and social care teacher because she hasnt been doing her work. Someone told me that I should be doing the work thinking I wasm my sister and practically every single teacher knows that she hasnt been doing her work. I think its unfair because I do try and do mine, yet everybody thinks we are joined at the hip and that I have to make her do it. People shout at me because of her and I think thats predjudice and evil, people are talking about her. Everybody is talking about her to other people when they have no right to do so. The teachers in my school are cowardly and vindictive, spreading rumours and assuming we are lowlives. I am struggling at school, so might be my sister, it doesnt mean that only us are. Nobody cares to help us at all. I feel so stressed out by my school at the moment. Im stressed out by everything. I really really really feel angry and I just want to curl up in a bubble and float away into the cold starry sky. Im pissed off at everything and I think that the school system in England is fucking discusting. It really does need sorting out. I just feel sorry for all the younger children that have to suffer hours and hours of essays and work and pressure laid on by teachers...I CANNOT WAIT to leave. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/12/12/im_so_f_ked_off~3434227/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/12/12/im_so_f_ked_off~3434227/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/11/28/im_ok~3367338/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-11-28:/2007/11/28/im_ok~3367338/Wed, 28 Nov 2007 22:58:44 +0100 <p>Oh my God. I cannot believe im writing my blog. I havent written in this in ages, 30 days I think. Or its been 30 days since I logged in.</p> <p>Last time I wrote, I was really messed up, suicidal infact. Im trying to make sure I dont feel like that again. Its aweful it really is. I have a boyfriend though! Aha, he is the only thing at the moment that keeps me feeling ok. Im so glad I found him though, because the week I started going out with him was the week I took an overdose. I was feeling really ill on the night we met, where I live people usually hang out at a place where bands go ect. And I wasnt going to go, but I plucked up the courage and went. Yay for me because I got with Dale (= . I think were happy together. We can talk about everything, and hes taking me to the pictures as a Christmas present. How sweet is that? Im still unsure about what to buy for him like..Ahh well, I have 27 days to decide. </p> <p>Anyways, It feels strangly good writing on here. Like, im home or something. I kinda needed to write to be honest. I love it actually (=. I feel like such a freak for saying all the crazy shit I did before....Can't change anything, and I dont regret a thing. </p> <p>Anyhow. Byee =) Much love anyone who reads this xx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/11/28/im_ok~3367338/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/11/28/im_ok~3367338/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/10/09/please_help_me~3108695/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-10-09:/2007/10/09/please_help_me~3108695/Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:09:26 +0200 <p>Im really getting scared now =[ </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/10/09/please_help_me~3108695/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/10/09/please_help_me~3108695/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/10/09/i_think_im_dying_i_really_need_your_help~3108675/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-10-09:/2007/10/09/i_think_im_dying_i_really_need_your_help~3108675/Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:06:16 +0200 <p>I didnt want to go to school yesterday, so my mum let me stay home. I was feeling very depressed about things that have happened recently. To make myself look ill I took 16 ibuprofen. I am now regretting this as I have severe adominal pains and I feel really sick. I couldnt sleep last night because of the pain. Will I die because of this? And is there anything I can do to make the pain go away. Im scared I dont want to tell my mum. Please help me. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/10/09/i_think_im_dying_i_really_need_your_help~3108675/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/10/09/i_think_im_dying_i_really_need_your_help~3108675/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/10/02/aw_this_is_sooo_sad~3072573/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-10-02:/2007/10/02/aw_this_is_sooo_sad~3072573/Tue, 02 Oct 2007 12:58:43 +0200 <p> One night a guy & a girl were<br> driving home from the movies. The<br> boy sensed there wassomething wrong because of the painful<br> silence they shared that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over<br> because she wanted to talk. She told him that her<br> feelings had changed & that it was time to move on.<br> A silent tear slid down his cheek as he<br> slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.<br> At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down<br> that very same street. He swerved<br> right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.<br> Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she<br> pulled it out & read it.<br> "Without your love, I would die."</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/10/02/aw_this_is_sooo_sad~3072573/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/10/02/aw_this_is_sooo_sad~3072573/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/09/17/dear_x~2995399/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-09-17:/2007/09/17/dear_x~2995399/Mon, 17 Sep 2007 19:02:22 +0200 <p>Just a little story about nothing really, I kinda have to explain this to someone so they know why im holding a 'grudge'.</p> <p>Dear X</p> <p>When my dad died, I felt lonley and I craved the love and affection of a male person, this wont mean anything to you, as nobody really understands at all. When he died I felt like he betrayed me and that he didnt need me/want me. This made me very upset...I started going out with you, my first real love, you kindof filled the gap of a missing male in my short life. If you understand. Anyways, I loved you, I did really much so, and when you dumped me, without reason this brought everything about my dad flooding back. He died and I didnt know why, you made me feel like a lost child again and I hated you for that. I know you probly didnt know this, I just want you to know that you didnt make me feel very good at all. In fact I used anger to lash out on you, holding so much stress made me ill, im not even sure If I will recover. Having you let me go was like loosing you whole family. You were the only person in my life I cared about, I tried to block out the pain with your love and I feel bad that you had to make my life a living hell. I just hope that nobody else has to go through this pain, your future girlfriends/wife? Please just promise me that you will come out of this a stronger person and put the past behind you, like I have tried to do so many times before. x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/09/17/dear_x~2995399/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/09/17/dear_x~2995399/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/09/11/calling_all_obsessed_mcfly_fans_uber_obs~2964485/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-09-11:/2007/09/11/calling_all_obsessed_mcfly_fans_uber_obs~2964485/Tue, 11 Sep 2007 21:05:32 +0200 <p>I know you love mcfly, the band, as do I (im guessing you do...). Anyhow, as queer as it sounds, who has their adress? Like, so I can send them fan mail and shit. Google is a bitch for finding shit, honestly. Sooo like, if you know anyone with it or something, I really wanna send them a gay obsessed fanmail. Ty your awesum! (obv we have the same frickin taste in music and hot guys...) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/09/11/calling_all_obsessed_mcfly_fans_uber_obs~2964485/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/09/11/calling_all_obsessed_mcfly_fans_uber_obs~2964485/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/08/01/at_night_i_gaze_at_the_stars_and_think_w~2740675/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-08-01:/2007/08/01/at_night_i_gaze_at_the_stars_and_think_w~2740675/Wed, 01 Aug 2007 21:27:38 +0200 <p>I'm feeling kinda like, depressed again. Don't really wanna say why but I know that boys are fucking bastards. I just wanna curl up in bed and stay there forever. I wanna curl up and die so I dont have to face the earth. I can feel a weight, and its really heavy upon me. Its harder to lift than I can imagine, and it hurts when I try and fix it. I can hear white noise in my head and I want the pain to stop. I have the knotted stomach sick feeling to be honest... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/08/01/at_night_i_gaze_at_the_stars_and_think_w~2740675/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/08/01/at_night_i_gaze_at_the_stars_and_think_w~2740675/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/27/money~2711796/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-07-27:/2007/07/27/money~2711796/Fri, 27 Jul 2007 16:09:05 +0200 <p>The other day, we went to Newcastle. And I got squilions spent on me, like loads and loads. I am truly gratefull, but now I want to go to Blackpool Pleasure beach by train with a load of friends. I can't really ask my mam, because I know she will either say no and I wont go. OR she will say yes and will end up giving me loads of money.</p> <p>I need a job, that way, I can go and pay her back, or pay my own way there. If anyone knows anyone in northwest england, preferably south cumbria, with a job available...Then I want it!! I might be away next wednesday, and for two weeks in August, but other than that, I can work. I really need some money to fund my summer fun. Im only 15 but im hardworking and will try and work any hours. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/27/money~2711796/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/27/money~2711796/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/27/omg_i_thought_i_just_deleted_the_whole_t~2708250/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-07-26:/2007/07/27/omg_i_thought_i_just_deleted_the_whole_t~2708250/Fri, 27 Jul 2007 00:00:30 +0200 <p>Imagine...Imagine your heart beating so fast, the worlds smartest computer couldnt count each seperate beat, beating so strong your heart goes up into your throat and you feel the excitement bubbling in your veins. The thought of what is going on making you smile so wide your cheeks hurt like hell. Imagine the one person you love with all your heart, a million miles away from you, but oh so close, you could allmost feel their breath on your skin.<br> Think of your favourite song, and your faveourite band...Imagine that song being played, right in your ear, by the person you love the most in the world. Someone you feel physically attracted to, mentally and emotionally. </p> <p>A few months ago, I cannot mention names (it isnt really fair is it?), J played some songs to me on his guitar. It might sound stupid and naive, but to me it was one of the most special moments ever. I sat there, staring deep into his big brown eyes, and my heart melted. I was so excited. I love listening to guitar anyways, but it was like my own precious gig. It was definetly a moment I shall treasure for the rest of my life. Sad as that may be. I was shaking, from the intensity of the moment.</p> <p>And now imagine being sat all alone in the dark, in your cold room, with only the shaddows and reflections to call company. Not a single soul for miles, you feel helpless, slowly fading away and drowning in your own tears...Thats how it feels when you break away from someone, like death..Like everything hurts and nothing will get better. </p> <p>Im not even so sure myself why I am writing this. I just feel like it to be honest. I kinda dont have any trust in guys, its just I fall for them really easily...and then you get your heart broken. Also for some reason those guys that messed me up, like really messed me up, are coming back for more, getting to me again, pouring salt in my broken wounds. I dont really understand, probly....because Im weak or easy or something...</p> <p>I wanna just say, to well nobody really. Well I just feel really strange at the moment, I miss J soo soo bad, I speak to him all the time, and we are still really close. But the fact that he is there and I did once have him, and that I can never have him again. He will probly not really wanna, like..go out with me or whatever again. It doesnt matter, I guess. The decision, was um..meutual(ar I cant spell it)..we both thought it was for the best. But its backfired as I really wanna go out with him and I feel really really really sad, and I want to still go out with him. I love J* so much and kinda want him to know how I feel. I kinda think that that will never happen. Oh well shit happens, people break up, thats life.</p> <p>Anyways, I should be getting on with shit and logging out. In fact, this is one of the longest and more like..meaningful blogs ive written in a hell of a long time. Nobody reads this I dont think anyways, If you have managed to read all of this, I highly highly applaud you, well done. Usually I dont have a clue what I write, most of the time I just type and go...Yeah, I actually do like writing in this, and I am happy. Even though I sound really depressed most of the time. In fact I think I am but, oh well. I cant do anything about it, so I may aswell act like im happy so everyone else is happy. </p> <p>Cya guys...</p> <p>Omg, I just typed this, and clicked the back button by accident and allmost deleted it all, and the * means that I cant really say his name, although it might be obvious...Um..hes not called Jay though btw... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/27/omg_i_thought_i_just_deleted_the_whole_t~2708250/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/27/omg_i_thought_i_just_deleted_the_whole_t~2708250/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/22/~2683550/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-07-22:/2007/07/22/~2683550/Sun, 22 Jul 2007 23:12:22 +0200 <p>Why can't I trust people? Whenever I tell people things, like...a secret or something, someone allways fucking seems to find out. I fucking hate people right now. I dont trust anybody. I hate crying but some people are really mean and I have to cry. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/22/~2683550/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/22/~2683550/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/11/aw~2618466/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-07-11:/2007/07/11/aw~2618466/Wed, 11 Jul 2007 22:41:04 +0200 <p>This is so unfair. I have a boyfriend that lives miles away, and I never ever ever get to see him. And everyone around me is loved up, and happy with everything. Also I dont even like my boyfriend, he loves his ex, he told me that, so I dont want to carry on going out with him. I hate him every day. I have to pretend to myself that I love him when I really really dont. I would feel like such a slag if I had to like dump him. Because all relationships turn out bad for me. My heart has been broken before and I dont wanna do that to him but I dont want to go out with him. I feel like crying because I like him as a good friend and I know that he will kill himself if I dump him and break his heart. It makes me scared and sad and omg I dont want to dump him. I just really dont want to go out with him at all. I need to get a boyfriend that. WAit. I dont need to get a boyfriend. I want one that lives near me, that I can talk to like, and hang out with. Not a fucking chav. I hate everything. Its like, everything I touch turns to crap. I cant go near anyone without hurting it. I cause so much pain. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/11/aw~2618466/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/11/aw~2618466/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/05/this_is_the_engd~2580702/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-07-05:/2007/07/05/this_is_the_engd~2580702/Thu, 05 Jul 2007 20:06:37 +0200 <p>ive takn 8 paracetamol, if i die, i love u </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/05/this_is_the_engd~2580702/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/07/05/this_is_the_engd~2580702/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/22/bleuch~2501406/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-22:/2007/06/22/bleuch~2501406/Fri, 22 Jun 2007 19:11:57 +0200 <p>I just drank some coke, im soo stupid, and totally really fat omg im so depreesed.. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/22/bleuch~2501406/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/22/bleuch~2501406/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/22/tres_fatigant_oui~2500464/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-22:/2007/06/22/tres_fatigant_oui~2500464/Fri, 22 Jun 2007 16:19:50 +0200 <p>I don't feel so good. Im still alive, which is amazing as I have only had like, one gulp of milk in two days, if not more so far. I feel very very tired, only a tiny bit more than usual. Its like, I go to sleep at 5-6ish, and I wake up the next morning. Sometimes I think that I should drink, and should try not to go to sleep. But then I think back to all the pain and suffering in my life, and how better off I would be dead. Or how people should know how I feel. Im not attention seeking, but I would like people to understand how I feel so they can help me in some way. Im really unhappy at the moment. I have to go to school each day, which makes me even more depressed. As sometimes I think about doing homework, or doing something, but I fall asleep and dont wake up till the next day. Giving me no time to do it. I have very little energy, I think that just walking around makes me tired. I dont do that much as im either sitting down or asleep. Life is very confusing to me, as I hardly keep track of time, or know what the time is, and its sometimes hard for me to notice the difference between dreaming and reality. I think things, like someone saying something to me, but I dont want to ask them if they said it incase I was just dreaming it. It feels like ive had no sleep at all for three months, even though Ive slept way too much. I have a headache, I am supposed to be going out later, but I dont really want to, as I will be to tired. Honestly, this whole day has gone soo slow, this day has felt like 6 in the morning the whole time. I cant hardly concentrate. I dont want to live anymore, nobody likes me that much, im not kidding. People diss me behind my back and it gets me down. I feel quite sick as well. Sometimes the thought of having to go to school makes me feel sick, I hate school. I dont have a fucking clue in the world why anybody would like it? I dont see why people say school is the best time of your life, because for me, school has been the worst experience ever. I am still in school, and during that time only bad things have happened to me, and im allmost certain more bad things for me are ahead. I just hope that I can survive long enough to have the courage to tell people how I am feeling. If I dont fall asleep and never ever wake up that is... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/22/tres_fatigant_oui~2500464/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/22/tres_fatigant_oui~2500464/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/20/~2488183/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-20:/2007/06/20/~2488183/Wed, 20 Jun 2007 17:21:08 +0200 <p>My friend's boyfriend dumped her, shes now extremley depressed and suicidal. She did try to commit suicide, this is why she is now alone in hospital. I feel so bad for her, I wish it was me in her situation. I am now a single person, which I hate. I hate the fact that I will never ever love him the way I did before.</p> <p>I have found a new way of self harm, which I find easier, as nobody can tell that im doing it. Dehydration. I have only had one small drink of milk in two days. The odd thing is, I havent felt 'thirsty' at all, in fact the thought of drinking makes me feel sick. I think that If my friend feels suicidal, I will join her in a suicide pact. Im not sure she will want to do this though. I have a headache at the moment, I do feel quite sick, im glad. I want people to know how I feel. </p> <p>Also my other friend has been diagnosed with epliepsy. I mean, reading back on all the stuff Ive said, it allmost sounds as if Ive made it up. But I havent, I wish that my friends were not in pain, and that they were free and happy. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/20/~2488183/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/20/~2488183/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/11/no_comment~2436184/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-11:/2007/06/11/no_comment~2436184/Mon, 11 Jun 2007 22:47:50 +0200 <p>No comment, I write a blog thing again, NO FUCKING COMMENT. I have resined myself to the fact that nobody will ever comment, because maybe they have no reason, or maybe I moan a hell of a fucking lot. Its just kinda sad, that the one place I try to say everthing, release all everything im feeling into writing and words and letters, Its sad that nobody really acknowleges this? Its a tad confusing. I feel that only by being really happy, or really really fucked up in my ownself to make people comment. In fact now it sounds like im begging someone to comment, I am actually alive...I hate everything, I might not write on this anymore. If I do killmyself you guys will be the first to know. I will tell you before hand obviously...but yeh, I feel like telling someone but I dont really know how... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/11/no_comment~2436184/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/11/no_comment~2436184/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/11/this_is_so_unfair~2436062/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-11:/2007/06/11/this_is_so_unfair~2436062/Mon, 11 Jun 2007 22:28:30 +0200 <p>I got allmost all 4's and 5's in my school report. 5 being the best. Unfortunatley I did get one 2. That was because of problems with my math homework, also with problems at home. Today my sister got a certificate and a fuckoff letter telling my mam how amazing she is at school. I would just like to say, that she has had several letters home regarding missing homework. And I have had NONE. She has mislead her health and social care coursework. I allways complete my art work, and I try my very best to do all my homework. I am very extremley completley upset about this. I dont even feel happy for her. I feel sick with emotions, it feels like nothing I can do is right. All the teachers suck her arse, when I do good things, nobody cares, they suck off all the dumb people. It really does make me feel sick. The thought of people ignoring me, when I do really try to hide my emotions, and suck in all the pain, and do my best in lessons when I feel really crappy. The thought that people dont give a fuck about how I feel and would rather give out meaningless certificates to fucking bastards that dont deserve them. I have only had one bottle of sparkling water today and I am really really really thirsty. There are no cups at home at the moment, because of certain issues and stuff like that, and there are no drinks. The thought of staying with a dry throat in bed one more night makes me feel really really sick. If only not drinking could make you skinny, I wouldnt drink ever again. I really need to loose weight. I also have sick pseriosis on my legs and it looks disgusting. BLEUGH... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/11/this_is_so_unfair~2436062/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/11/this_is_so_unfair~2436062/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/09/i_can_see_you~2419975/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-09:/2007/06/09/i_can_see_you~2419975/Sat, 09 Jun 2007 01:02:47 +0200 <p>I ran upstairs before to grab something from my room, and when I walked out of the door I suddenly went all dizzy and my eyes went all fuzzy. It was really strange! I thought I was going to fall over but I didnt really care and carried on walking. I thought about the fact that I could have possibly fell down the stairs but I ran down anyways. </p> <p>Here is another funny story:-</p> <p>My auntie and uncle are making a shop, and they were fixing it up today. My uncle was clmbing up a ladder and he didnt realise there was a nail above his head and he just banged into it. My auntie described it as hammering the nail with his head. He was fine after it though haha.</p> <p>Another thing, I just saw this guy on tv doing an interview about his band and music when his fone starts ringing. He slowly pulls it out of his pocket and looks at the screen whilst still talking. Suddenly he says ''Scouse Tony!'' Exitidley, he opens his fone and answers ''Hello mate im just on telly''. I think this is really amusing, as the screen cuts off just after. I dont know why but I am writing random blogs at all hours. It seems to have been 12-58 for about 3 minutes :S Anyways I have another thing. For some reason everyone in the whole world hates me. Because whatever I post on this nobody comments. Which is pretty ironic as most of it is complete shit anyways. But I havent had a comment in ages. Haha, actually I dont care, I dont comment on anyone else to be honest. I do sometimes but thats if I really feel the need to. As most people think im an imature freak. </p> <p>Actually, I feel like staying up all night, like I did last time. But It gets a pretty cold, and boring. I also feel quite tired. But I was talking about this to a friend a while ago. Sometimes, when you lie in bed, you seem like too tired to sleep. Its as if you eyes are really heavy and you need to go to sleep but your brain is alive and you cant switch off. Confusing I know. I probly am going to go now. Yea thats mee, im off..ARrrrr I hate school, the thought of it makes me feel physically pukeworthy. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/09/i_can_see_you~2419975/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/09/i_can_see_you~2419975/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/08/my_handwriting_personality~2418082/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-08:/2007/06/08/my_handwriting_personality~2418082/Fri, 08 Jun 2007 17:59:52 +0200 <p>Personality Description</p> <p>To begin the analysis, the first aspect of the handwriting to consider is the flow. Some handwriting is rigid and taut, as if the forward movement of the pen has been restrained, while other script has great flow, fluency and vitality. This handwriting adopts the middle line between these two extremes. The subject has carefully maintained a style which achieves a middle ground between complete freedom and total control. This reflects a desire to avoid extremes, and it is also likely to reveal itself in other aspects of her life. She may tend to adopt either a controlled and conformist attitude or, equally, may choose to follow a freer, less conformist lifestyle. Which course is adopted will very much depend on the circumstances at the time, and is never likely to be as extreme as would be found in individuals with fully restrained or released script. Thus, the subject is flexible and adaptable to the demands of a particular situation in a way that other types of writers would find almost impossible. </p> <p>The pressure used throughout the script is average in intensity, indicating that the subject is able to maintain a balance between too much activity and too great a degree of lethargy. As a result, she lacks the intense drive and enthusiasm shown by writers with heavy pressure, but will be equally tolerant of inactivity in those who use a lower pressure in their script. She will be good at working methodically at the more routine tasks. </p> <p>The subject has a signature that is smaller than 85% of the population, and as a result does not have a very high opinion of herself preferring to avoid the limelight whenever possible.<br> She often has self-doubts in her abilities and appears to lack confidence.<br> Although she may enjoy the benefits of high status, if the role is forced upon her , she is unlikely to seek acclaim and attention. She is more modest than a writer with a big signature and can accept criticism more readily.<br> This characteristic also ties in with a submissive personality (see below). </p> <p>Some of the capital letters in the script are smaller than the other ascending letters, indicating that the subject has a mildly submissive personality.<br> This ties in with the small signature and shows that she may be somewhat more timid, cautious and passive than most.<br> As a result she may find it quite hard to develop relationships, and often yields to the desires of others rather than push her own needs. She will prefer not to argue if this means drawing attention to herself and causing a scene. She doesn't like to bargain and finds it hard to resist persuasion from others.<br> She may feel uncomfortable in the presence of those with more power or knowledge than she has. In the role of host she will find it difficult to liven up a party.<br> She finds that she is generally more easily dominated, and will probably go along with the wishes of a more assertive person rather than risk argument. She dislikes making decisions and often prefers to follow rather than to lead. </p> <p>The handwriting shows a few signs of a perfectionist personality. Although generally more easy-going than the average person, the subject also seems more orderly and methodical, perhaps being a little over-concerned with small details, and fussy about trivial matters. She may sometimes seem undecided about the best course of action to take, and may appear to have some self-doubts. </p> <p>Emotionally, the subject may have a tendency to worry more than the average person, perhaps appearing somewhat nervous and excitable. She may not only worry about everyday problems, but over extreme and unlikely events. </p> <p>Some curtailment in the handwriting indicates that the subject may have trouble giving free vent to her emotions and feelings. Most times her emotional control is total and consistent. She may find it hard to make and maintain close relationships, and may even feel embarrassed when in the company of people who can readily display their emotions.<br> Because she feels incapable of expressing emotions, the subject will tend to remain calm and cool in situations which may cause others to panic. This is sometimes an advantage, but because she is unable to respond appropriately at times when deep feelings must be expressed, she tends to lack empathy. </p> <p>There are some indications within the handwriting of compulsive behaviour.<br> Compulsiveness is an anxiety reducing strategy in which the subject makes a ritual out of many of the most trivial aspects of life. When attempting to solve problems which cause anxiety, she will attempt to do so by constant and repetitive efforts. This will be maintained, even if the problem turns out to be insoluble.<br> Such an exaggerated determination means that the subject is often regarded by others as being conscientious. However, because of these rigid problem solving strategies she finds it difficult to look at problems from a fresh angle and to consider a different method of approach. Often, this rigid problem solving procedure, whether at work or in personal relationships, is not an attempt to reach a solution but a defence reaction. Typical compulsions are checking the doors and windows a prescribed number of times each night, even if one check would be sufficient, worrying about 'bad' thoughts for fear that they will come true, and checking and re-checking every piece of work to avoid any possibility of mistake. All these, and many other forms of compulsive behaviour are best summed up as 'not being able to leave well alone'.<br> At present, the subject's level of compulsive behaviour is probably a mild inconvenience, but it could prove to dominate her existence. This should be taken as a warning sign to take life rather less seriously, to strive for less perfection, precision and order, and to relax more often. </p> <p>There are a few indications in the handwriting that, at the time of writing, the subject was suffering from mild stress. This may be temporary, for example if she was upset, tired, or working against a deadline. However, the subject may be living at an unacceptable level of stress, one which is beginning to affect her physical well being.<br> These are warning signs in the handwriting, and indicate that the subject should pause and reflect on those aspects of her lifestyle which may be causing long-term difficulties. She should try to reduce them whenever possible, relax more frequently, check her diet, and perhaps take more exercise. Stress can be beneficial, but if allowed to get out of control, it may prove a hazard to mental and physical health.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/08/my_handwriting_personality~2418082/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/08/my_handwriting_personality~2418082/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/07/life_is_great~2413621/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-07:/2007/06/07/life_is_great~2413621/Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:01:29 +0200 <p>I am sick and tired of stupid, tale telling, lying shitty little bastards. Especially the ones that are usually found wearing tracksuit bottoms and trainers. </p> <p>I feel aweful, I would tell you the whole story but thinking about it makes me want to cry. Because Im a sad emotional bastard that cannot stand up and fight. Anyways, I said ''shes a bitch'' I dont even know why I said it but her friends, well they got their friends and their 'people' to come over giving me shit. They were complaning that I called the person a bitch and I dont know her, when I do know her. The girl had no problem with me saying this about her...But all her friends had started giving me shit, coming up to my face, allmost nose to nose shouting at me. When some of them called me a bitch, not that ANYONE of them know me at all. I dont see why I cannot call someone a bitch when they call me one. </p> <p>At the moment, I dont trust anybody. I dont usually trust people anyways, but im angry and sad and extremley confused. I dont understand how thos shitty dirty chavs can give me shit when they dont know who I am. Just the thought of them makes me feel physically sick. This is bullying and I dont have a clue how to stop it. I have been bullied in my past, which is aweful. And I agree, I have probly been a bit bullying in my past. But I dont ever want anyone to feel emotional pain as the grief is so hard to deal with. </p> <p>I really really really want to move, or move countries. So people can see me as who I am. Not some evil bitch with nothing else to do with my life. Because In my heart, I am nothing like that. Some people dont understand at all what the hell I go through every single day. It seems like everything I do is wrong. I dont know why I even went out, because when I do everything bad that happens, is usually directed at me. The otherday someone even said that they were leaving because of me, when they were the one that started on me and called me a 'dirty lesbian' when I know what sexuality I am.</p> <p>I think that if I am depressed or if I feel bad any longer, I am going to find a bus and run into it. Even when I smile, my brain moves back to the bad times. Its so hard to forget. Its like a debt unpaid. I dont know what to do with my life anymore. I want everyone to back away and stop looking at me as if im a piece of shit. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/07/life_is_great~2413621/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/07/life_is_great~2413621/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/05/bmi~2401389/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-05:/2007/06/05/bmi~2401389/Tue, 05 Jun 2007 21:49:06 +0200 <p>Your BMI result is:</p> <p>20.44</p> <p>You are in the healthy weight range.</p> <p>I dont fell like it, I might be a healthy weight, but all of it seems to be on my tummy. I know im fat, the BMI cant prove that im not fat. I am, and I would rather be stick thin and have a flat stomach than be healthy.<br> Seriously, I couldnt give a fuck if guys fancy curvacious girls. I dont really care for guys at the moment, they screw with your brain and cause heartache. I really want to be slimmer. When Im walking down the street I have to suck my stomach in a little bit. Even then I dont feel confident in my own body. I want to cut down on things I eat. I eat far too much food, and most of it is bad for me. Here is a list of things I eat, on a daily basis.</p> <p>Breakfast:<br> Nothing most of the time, a biscuit or sweets usually. </p> <p>Dinner:<br> Ham Sandwich with butter(soo fatty),a biscuit, cheese(really fat),packet of crisps(amazingly fat)</p> <p>Tea:<br> Chips(I hate eating them, but I have to),Some vegetables, I cant say for sure as everyday is different.<br> Snacks:Everything, omg im soo fat.</p> <p>Some days I really feel like eating nothing at all, I cant wait to move house to live on my own so I can eat nothing.</p> <p>Also, sometimes I get allmost the opposite of diabetes. I eat loads of food, and hardly drink at all. I know, that thirst is often mistaken for thirst. But I dont understand, one day I had one drink and I wasnt thirsty at all. I had about three small drinks over a few days. Some times I only have one drink in the day. I also feel dizzy, this may be the cause of this, im not so sure, but I dont really feel thirsty so I dont see the point in drinking. I do know however, that the moment you feel thirsty you are allready dehydrated. I dont care to be honsest, I wouldnt care if I died of thirst, I would rather die from thirst or hunger and let one single deprived child live a life of happiness. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/05/bmi~2401389/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/05/bmi~2401389/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/05/nobody_reads_my_stuff_anymore_hahaha_oh_~2399635/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-05:/2007/06/05/nobody_reads_my_stuff_anymore_hahaha_oh_~2399635/Tue, 05 Jun 2007 17:18:55 +0200 <p>I know its your birthday, and I dont give a fuck,<br> To me you mean nothing, but I do wish you luck,<br> I want you to be happy, and to live well,<br> Just do one thing for me, please rot in hell,</p> <p>I used to think of you, as my shining star,<br> But now you are evil, thats all you are,<br> Deceitful and stupid, a cowardly fool,<br> How could someone so pretty, be so cruel?</p> <p>Your eyes they shine at me, and glisten all day,<br> You murdered my soul, I rotted away,<br> If you unhappy, and your feeling sad,<br> Think of me now, as I am glad,</p> <p>Im not trying to offend you, just letting you know,<br> That I think your a bastard, for letting me go,<br> Im like a child, alone and scared,<br> I wouldnt feel like this, if you had cared, </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/05/nobody_reads_my_stuff_anymore_hahaha_oh_~2399635/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/05/nobody_reads_my_stuff_anymore_hahaha_oh_~2399635/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/04/omgaw~2394628/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-04:/2007/06/04/omgaw~2394628/Mon, 04 Jun 2007 19:56:16 +0200 <p>Im starting to hate the world again. I have a boyfriend, who hardly ever talks to me. He lives really far away, so im very lucky if I get to talk to him once a week. It really chokes me up, because I allways feel as though he dosnt really care about me at all. He dosnt make an effort to contact me, he forgot it was my birthday and didnt give a fuck when I told him that it was. When I first started going out with him, he was all loved up, and obsessed over me. Now he doesnt talk to me. I dont want to break up with him, he is my only way of keeping sane. Although at the moment just thinking of him makes me breakdown. Sometimes I hate him, and detest him. I cant understand why everything has to turn sour for me. It makes me feel aweful. Sometimes, I get really confused. Because people complain if I do something wrong, if I look different, or If there is something I have done. If I try to change this, or make things better, which often makes me feel worse..people shout at me. </p> <p>I think that self harm is a bad thing, I have done it in the past. Mainly attention seeking, because I want people to notice how I feel, and to try to help me. If I do this, people just complain and accuse me of being weired and stupid. What those people dont realise that self harm is like a drug. Like smoking. If you smoke, you are in reality self harming yourself and your body. Smoking is addictive, as is self harm. I think that depression and physical and mental pain is an aweful thing for someone to go though. Especially alone. Sometimes I feel that there is no way for me to turn, I dont want to scare people around me but I really dont want to live. I feel desperate and isolated. My life is getting me down, I feel guilty on most people for what I do wrong. And I know this sounds really really mean, but sometimes I dislike people who are ill, because they get a reason to be loved, and get reason for people to like them and speak to them. I dont even know sometimes why I write on this, it doesnt make me feel any better. Talking to people doesnt make me feel better. It feels as though some people have better things to talk about. I just hope to heaven that things with me and my bf (no names!) get better. The thought of breaking up with someone again makes my stomach flip. I just longed to be loved and for people to respect me for who I am and to help me. All I want is to feel happy with who I am, and for people to fuck off my case and to not try and put me down. However stong I am, or however happy I am there will allways be a little part of me that will never ever forget the bad things that happen, and when I feel unhappy, all the stupid things will replay over and over. I seriously need to get over this somehow... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/04/omgaw~2394628/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/04/omgaw~2394628/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/01/6_in_the_morning_why~2371437/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-06-01:/2007/06/01/6_in_the_morning_why~2371437/Fri, 01 Jun 2007 06:50:34 +0200 <p>I couldn't get to sleep last night. I longed away the hours with endless songs stuck in my head and thoughts of the new dawns arival. Today, I woke up. Thinking it was rather early, I didn't have a clock to hand, and I couldn't decide wether to get up or not. I got changed, making sure the rustling noises didnt wake any dormant relatives. I checked the time, and holy crap...It was 6:06. I thought it was early, but 6 oclock??? Now, I am changed, and I dont really feel tired. There must be some reason for this. Ahh yes, insomnia, oh its nothing really. I do actually feel a bit tired, and I do kinda wish I did stay in bed, rather than..Y'know get up. Oh well, Im awake now, and Im here to blab about erm..Nout really.</p> <p>Wednesday night saw the party of the year, mine ofcourse. A Birthday party celebrating me and my twin sisters birthday(It is actually our birthday tomrrow). 15, its nothing. I dont know why we had a party. Just some mad plan I came up with in April or something. It was amazing, really fun. We had the party on Wednesday because the place we wanted it does things on Saturdays, like battle of the bands ect. Also, on Saturday night me my brother sis and my mam are going to see Brittish artist Calvin Hariss. IF you havent heard of him, hes the one that sings ''I got love for you, If you were born in the 80's..The 80's(Acceptable in the 80's)'' AND ''I get all the girls I get all the girls(I get the girls)''</p> <p>Today is my cousins birthday, he lives in Scotland, I dont see him much, I did see him last week though. Tomorrow is my birthday, and my twin sisters. Please dont say that it is obvious im pointing out my sisters is on the same day as some twins have different birthdates. Also, tomorrow is my friend Joes birthday. He is gorgeous! I had to add that, but I feel somewhat privelaged to share the same day as him. I think he secretly likes it but im not sure. </p> <p>Tomorrow,Me, My sister, My brother and My mam are all traveling on the train (woopie...) to Manchester. Its our birthday, and to make sure everybody in my path knows, im going to wear a badge that says 'birthday girl', and every now and then im going to sing the happy birthday song. I am also going to mention how good my 'birthday party' was, and how I hope to get alot of 'birthday cards'.<br> I dont even see the point in birthdays. What is the need in celebrating somebodys life, when you should say something like, ''Happy life bless you'' every day. My friend is a Jehovas Witness, and also doesnt celebrate birthdays. She did come to our 12th birthday though, because where we live, you can get limos, for kids parties ect, and we needed one more person to fill a space, and we only had a few friends...</p> <p>Anyways, I am kinda excited about tomrrow, I dont know why, because I dont think my mam has gotten us a present, I know that the party was one, but she said that we can go on a shopping spree. I would rather have a few small presents to open in the morning, rather than looking round some shops for things I know I dont need. Most of which may be spent with my own money. I did want a phone. My mam gave me her old one in February, but it allways freezes, and has a crack down the front. It isnt very pretty anymore, it looks old. I want a new one, but I kinda dont really want to ask. I think I might be getting one, but Im not going to cry about it. It isnt as if I have the one of the crappest phones in the world. (Yeah it kinda feels like that). I could even donate my phone to charity, or recycle it...Maybe...</p> <p>You know what I hate? I dont know why, but because of things on the news about Landrovers in cities polluting the planet. I kinda highly dislike them at the moment. Because, in a town, instead of helping poor ill or injurged sheep get home to Bo Peep, they just block roads<br> and anoy the crap out of me. Im not saying they are bad, but anything that heats up the world has to be evil. On the other hand, I know that cows produce carbon monoxide(ithink?) and therefore adds another chemical to the ozone. Anyways, I dont see the point in having a 4x4 if you live in a city. If you needed it to get alot of people around, you would use a people carrier no? If you needed it to carry animals around you would live in the country right? </p> <p>-Sorry, I had this random thought I need to include...-</p> <p>1 Sheep = Sheep. 2 Sheep = Sheep..Not sheeps.<br> 1 Dear = Dear. 2 Dear = Dear..Not dears.</p> <p>I dont know if you get my drift at the moment, but how come when you say Animals, as In more than one, you dont take away the S...So it becomes just Animal. Like for example. ''Hey, those animal sure are pretty to look at''</p> <p>Anyways back to 4x4's. Im not totally disrespecting them, they may be good in someways to the environment. But sometimes the people that drive them piss me off. I have no reason to judge as I am only 15, but when they drive, and stop you from crossing the road. They act all, smug and great. As if driving a really big discusting smelly green world polluting car will have some intelligent and famous higher power effect on you. When it should have the complete oposite. I belive that ruining the world is a problem, and that 4x4's should only be used on farms in the country, and people who drive them in the city that think they are 'cool', should try getting a propper car, because some normal cars are actually not gay. Also they should try riding the bus for once. Honestly, 4x4's are useless(in the city). They dont help anyone(in the city/town), they cause more pain than they do good(in the city/town) and they look rubbish. If you do own a 4x4, im terribly sorry BUT I HATE YOUR CAR! Some people need to think about their environment and get an energy saving car. I cant name any of the top of my head, but they do exsist! It may also save you alot of money, like petrol for example.</p> <p>Im hungry, I might go raid the cupboard, we have no food, but raiding it will be fun... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/01/6_in_the_morning_why~2371437/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/06/01/6_in_the_morning_why~2371437/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/27/yerrrp~2343325/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-05-27:/2007/05/27/yerrrp~2343325/Sun, 27 May 2007 16:38:15 +0200 <p>See you smiling everyday<br> Hide the way I feel<br> Want to tell you everything<br> But my lips are sealed</p> <p>Loving you with all my heart<br> But you will never know<br> Feelings for you are locked away<br> Hope they never go</p> <p>I never cease to be amazed<br> By how beautiful you look<br> How my heart will suffer in silence<br> Because of a chance I never took...</p> <p>--I love this poem soo much, I dont have a clue who wrote it, not me obviously, I think its really sweet...-- </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/27/yerrrp~2343325/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/27/yerrrp~2343325/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/26/im_confused_but_ill_write_this_poo_anywa~2340170/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-05-26:/2007/05/26/im_confused_but_ill_write_this_poo_anywa~2340170/Sat, 26 May 2007 23:52:59 +0200 <p>Whats the tagged thing all about?</p> <p>Ill just write words and shit anyways...(7 random facts)...</p> <p>1.I have an identical twin sister who looks hardly anything like me and im not sure if we are propper identical or not.</p> <p>2.My dogs name is Kipper</p> <p>3.I know all the words to all the Mcfly albums...</p> <p>4.My favourite number is 3</p> <p>5.I can scream louder than a baby</p> <p>6.I went to Paris last june</p> <p>7.It is my birthday next saturday on the 2nd June..</p> <p>Dont have a clue what to say next... I guess those facts were pretty lame, if you need to know more, meh just ask. I think I should say tagged or something now? Yeh, I just said it, so yea...I have more interesting facts, honestly...Just cant think of them.. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/26/im_confused_but_ill_write_this_poo_anywa~2340170/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/26/im_confused_but_ill_write_this_poo_anywa~2340170/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/25/the_most_memorable_funeral_in_the_whole_~2335471/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-05-25:/2007/05/25/the_most_memorable_funeral_in_the_whole_~2335471/Fri, 25 May 2007 23:55:22 +0200 <p>Who'd have thought, that a 14 year old girl was the star of her grandmothers funeral? Definetly not me, me of all people. </p> <p>Today was the most randomest day in the whole entire history of forever, fact! First of all, starting off yesterday :S I know, confusing, anyways. I went to my aunties house, to have a little, family gathering, and I got offered some rose wine. I only had two or three glasses, but I started getting tipsy. Then, me and my cousin tried this drink called something like 'Golshlager', it contains real bits of paper gold. It burned my throat like hell. Then, we had two glasses of JackDaniels and coke, that didnt taste so nice, but I drunk it anyways. Then, after ariving home, I went out around the streets, just near our house with my brother and other cousin, and drank most of a can of beer. By this time I was well and truly shit faced. I couldnt really walk, and my inner most secrets were being spread accross the nation.</p> <p>Anyways, enough of my shinanigans, back to today, the worst funeral ever. Im not being disrespectful to my nana, but I didnt want to get up. I felt rough as arseoles. I didnt have a headache, I just had the most discusting sickly feeling in my stomach ever ever ever. I carried the feeling out untill I was sick outside. I was then sick a little bit before we got into the taxi to go to my nanas house, then I was sick at my nanas.</p> <p>I thought, that I would be okay, oh no, oh ffing noway. I was in the hearse, the funeral car at the back. With my auntie and uncle, my sister brother and niece. The rumbling stared in my stomach, then the throat feeling. The sick was coming and I couldnt stop it. I felt aweful, I was sat, in a big black car on my way to my grandmothers funeral, and I was about to spew up all over my outfit. I shouted to my brother, for him to open the window. I had to do it, I was about to be sick out of a funeral car. The window was open, and my stomach compressed, fuelling a whole pile of sick to go out of the window. I didnt really give a fuck if anyone was watching me. The car had a tiny bit of it on the door. I felt aweful, I was trying to respect the life of my nana and this is what happned. I was sick out of the car. Of course I felt fine afterwards, because I had just spewed the alcoholic goodness all over a big black car. </p> <p>I was shocked at myself, for doing something soo wrong. Also, for some reason we were all sat in the back, laughing. Thinking about how at least our car was the last one, in a row of others. We arived, and luckily there wasnt much sick on the side of the car, I wiped most of it off, when my head was hanging out of the window. </p> <p>That was probly the third in a whole day of being sick, this has to be one of my worst ill days ever.</p> <p>Also, last week, I planned on getting my nose peirced, but the woman wasnt in, and would only be in today and tomorrow. It was about 1 oclock (in the day), and everyone had eaten and drunk some at the 'after do'. I asked my mother if I could get my nose peirced, Im almost certain, it was neither the place, nor time to do this, but yeh oh well. My loverly auntie Biffy took me into town, and even payed for me to get a nose stud, as it is my birthday next saturday. It hurt a tiny bit, and it doesnt hurt when I dont touch it, but If I push it, or flare my nostrills it hurts, and it feels uncomfortable when I try to itch my nose.</p> <p>I know that, I will never ever ever forget what happened today. I woke up with a discustingly terrible hangover, I spewed up from the window of a hearse, went to a funeral, had a little party, got my nose peirced met some people and fucked off back home. I think that, the worst thing about today is, that the only reason people will remember this funeral, is because I was sick. I feel sooo bad for my nana, I hope somewhere that she doesnt mind what I did. And that she knows It was for a good cause. To her, as last night I had the most amazing party ever in her honor. </p> <p>R.I.P Nana, you seriously rock, I guess that I made your funeral very memorable, in many ways than one. Please dont worry about us down here, we are fine, I know that I am okay. I dont want you to worry about how I am feeling at the moment. I want you to send a message to your family telling them that you are okay. Please know that we are okay and our lives are our own. Love you loads. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/25/the_most_memorable_funeral_in_the_whole_~2335471/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/25/the_most_memorable_funeral_in_the_whole_~2335471/#commentshttp://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/23/oh_this_makes_the_pain_so_much_more_wors~2321474/tag:randomstranger.blog.co.uk,2007-05-23:/2007/05/23/oh_this_makes_the_pain_so_much_more_wors~2321474/Wed, 23 May 2007 18:38:13 +0200 <p>Post mortam revealed...My nana had died from multiple organ faliure caused by heart disease, and had suffered two strokes a few months ago which fazed out the part of her brain that helped her to walk. Even if she was fine, she will have never recovered propley, and would be wheelchair bound. Its her funeral on friday, and thinking about it makes me feel sick, I hate the church, the chapel of rest. The thought of people looking at me, giving me the eyes, as if everyone is so hard done by, crying in my face, hugging me, telling me that everything will be allright. Which as I know very well, the loss of a loved one takes something from you away, and doesnt make anything allright. Nothing will be allright, all perfect. The old people will try to understand, they will act as if im just a child, and that I wont understand anything about death. The old people will look at me, as though im a hooligan. I will cry on Friday, the sound of sobbing fills me allready. There are only a few things left that make me feel hopefull.</p> <p>A few months ago, my auntie 'suposidly' phoned my nana a few times one night, and as my nana found it very hard to walk, when she did answer the phone there was nobody on the other line. It wasnt a prank, there was just nobody on the phone. The other day, my auntie was sat at home, and asked for a message, asking if her mum (my nana) was up there and if she was okay. A few minutes later, the phone rung, and when my auntie answered nobody was on the other line. This carried on untill 11 oclock. </p> <p>Two days ago, my family was argueing about which song to play at the end of the funeral. Only two people wanted ''allways look on the bright side of life'' to be played. As a humerous one. Nobody else did. The same auntie, was looking at cards in a shop for her sons birthday and picked one up to look at. When she opened it, a cd fell out, so she picked it up, and it was monty pythons ''allways look on the bright side of life''. Strange... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/23/oh_this_makes_the_pain_so_much_more_wors~2321474/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://randomstranger.blog.co.uk/2007/05/23/oh_this_makes_the_pain_so_much_more_wors~2321474/#comments